Is it possible to feel alone in a relationship? For me, the answer was yes. I didn’t know myself because my identity was not in Christ. I longed for connection to worldly things and to become a successful wife, mother, and woman. The warped idea of success was the area God worked His miraculous healing within me. I learned the posture of faith and humbled myself to His Sovereign power. I hope my story encourages you to diligently seek the Lord to give you the desires of your heart. 

Context and Definitions

Truth- genuineness, honesty, truth, but not merely truth as spoken; the truth of an idea, reality, sincerity, truth in the moral sphere, the divine truth revealed to man, straightforwardness.

In ancient Greek culture, 225(alḗtheia) was synonymous with “reality” as the opposite of illusion, i.e., fact.]

* Strong’s Greek Concordance

My Story

One morning I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. The wrinkles, skin demarcations, fat cell deposits were all things I looked at with hatred. I hated my body and myself. I wasn’t good enough and felt ashamed. Giving full authority to the enemy, I continued to answer to my sin. While wallowing in self-pity, a doctor diagnosed me with depression; however, that was accepting failure, so I refused to take the medication. And then God reached inside my heart and stirred up the love He had for me. I sat down in the middle of a room I laid prostrate before God, seeking forgiveness. 

CONFESSION LED TO REPENTANCE

I am a sinner. I lusted, over consumed, became greedy, lazy, angry, envious, and prideful. Colossians 3:5 – Therefore, put to death what is earthly in you. (Read Colossians 3:5-11)

I began a new journey. The people who would always point out my body faults or spoke negatively of me, I stopped hanging around. I let go of the events, not the people. I learned to say ‘no, thank you.’ After God helped me loosen the grip on seeking approval from the world, the Holy Spirit began changing my mindset. 

Hebrews 10:17 He also says, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will never remember again.” – 

God puts His laws in the hearts and minds of His people. We are empowered to obey Him. What strikes me about the verses that talk about how God forgives us that it is followed by His wiping our sins away, thus erasing them, blotting them out, because He sees past our iniquity and into our heart that longs for Him. That is one of many attributes of God’s character that I strive for, to forget a trespass and completely forgive. Being offended or hurt by someone, we have the power at that moment to decide who we are going to follow. Will it be God’s command of love? Or will it be Satan’s command to destroy, kill, and steal? Our words have power as well as our actions. We can allow someone to see Christ or see the enemy.

“There is wisdom in not chasing confused people to satisfy loneliness.”

THE HEALING TO OBEDIENCE

As I dove deeper into God’s Word, the spiritual attacks increased. Although I wandered off of His path, God did not let me go too far. My spirit is anchored in Him. Self-soothing through toxic relationships was detrimental to my spiritual growth, and I was convicted to action. 

By humbling myself before the Lord, I gave praise and thanksgiving that He never left me nor forsook me. I encourage you to keep reading, meditating, and praying. After years of repeating the same cycle of up and downs, I finally learned to yield to God’s way and learned my truth. If I desired a different outcome, I needed to change my approach.

MY RESOLVE

The Holy Spirit revealed what my weaknesses and strengths were. I can say ‘NO..thank you’ with authority and not apologize for protecting what is within me. Fasting helps control my flesh (sinful tendencies) and not allow temptations to direct my thoughts and actions. My help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:2), I reached the end of me to get closer to God. Jesus took my chains off. I continue to do things obediently fearful, standing with the Lord in front of me. My Abba Father increased my mustard seed faith to sow into others by sharing my testimony.  

We are never alone. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to cry out for help even when others want to hush you. (Mark 10:46-52)

Beloveds, let us unselfishly seek what is best for one another and love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and soul. I hope we will all experience a personal relationship with Christ, our Savior. God is love. It is the essence and attributes of His divine character. If we seek to have our identity defined by Christ, His transformation is what we need. God’s love is complete, satisfying, and motivation for us to give beyond our means. 

~Torrie Slaughter

You can find Torrie at www.ourgivenpurpose.com to read A Daily Purpose, listen to her podcasts, and join a network of prayer warriors.