Overcoming Heartbreak: A Story of Prayer, Fasting, and the Triumph of Hope after Pregnancy Loss

 God's Warrior Woman ~ Detria's Story

Imagine finding yourself pregnant when you weren’t even trying! 

That was exactly my story in the year 2000.  Married for only two years, my husband and I were waiting to have children later.  But that February, I found out I was pregnant.  My husband and I were shocked, but thrilled! At the same time I discovered I was pregnant, I was actively praying for a friend who desired children, but due to a thyroid illness, found conceiving difficult.  One day, while visiting my family out of state, my husband called to tell me that this dear friend was pregnant.  And I literally jumped with excitement!

God had answered our prayers in allowing her to get pregnant, and best of all, we could enjoy this experience together.  

Excited as I was for the both of us, I still kept praying.  You see my friend’s illness made her pregnancy very difficult.  She was sick and had to take medicine that wasn’t ideal for her unborn baby.  But like any faithful sister in Christ, me and the other women of our church rallied around her and interceded for her.  

Five months later, after continuous, earnest prayers for my friend, I found myself in need of prayer.  After a weekend of unexplained cramping, I unexpectedly, and without warning, prematurely delivered my daughter…at home.  By the time the ambulance arrived they tenderly looked me in the eyes and said, “Mrs. Moore, there’s nothing we can do for the baby now.  So our focus is on taking care of you.” 

I heard him, but the words didn’t register. 

What was happening in this moment? 

I spent a few days in the hospital and was eventually sent home. 

With empty arms. 

No baby. 

How was I supposed to return to a home that was being baby prepped?  Where bottles and pacifiers, onesies and blankets were being kept in a room that would eventually be a nursery. 

Am I seriously not pregnant anymore? 

I couldn’t reconcile the empty arms with the physical signs of having just given birth.

I couldn’t reconcile the empty arms with the physical signs of having just given birth.

My body didn’t know and didn’t care that I was coming home empty-handed.  So when your breasts begin to fill with milk but there’s no baby to nurse, it’s a stabbing reminder that you were robbed of motherhood.  No gentle coos from my daughter, but a baby monitor already purchased.  No baby to cradle in my arms, but an empty cradle catches my glance when I walk past her room.  A stomach that was still inflated.  All reminders that I’d given birth, but I was not a mother.

And just like most new parents, I was getting little sleep.  But in my case, it was because of depression and sadness.  I felt like a failure.  And soon felt like God had failed me.  Instead of running to God, I found myself angry at Him.  

I took a few weeks off from church.  When I returned it was hard.  Really hard.  Because my friend, my good friend, was there.  And she was still pregnant.  It seemed so unfair.  “I” had the picture perfect pregnancy.  “I” was healthy, there was nothing that could have indicated this was even a possibility.  “She” was the sick one.  “She” was the one who needed prayer constantly.  It just didn’t seem right.  We were a young church, with lots of young couples.  No one really knew what to say at first.  And I felt isolated.  I believed every lie from the enemy.  I believed I was cursed.  I believed God hated me and was punishing me.  I believed I would never have kids.  I could no longer look my friend in the eye.  I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I was just going through so much depression.  I went to church but couldn’t participate.  Why worship?  Why have faith?  I felt defeated and helpless.    

Though different ones tried comforting me, I eventually found solace in a support group at the hospital.  I attended the sessions and felt community.  Eventually, however, after a few months, I knew that for my own benefit, I couldn’t continue going.  I couldn’t continue dwelling in that place of grief. 

Deep down I knew God was still good. I knew He was still for me, I just didn't "feel" it.

Deep down I knew God was still good.  I knew He was still for me, I just didn’t ‘feel’ it.  I couldn’t shake this feeling of despair. 

But I had two older ladies come to me.  Both with different words the Lord wanted them to share with me.  Different words, but I needed to hear them both. 

One was a warm gentle reminder that even though the outcomes were unexpected for me and my friend, God still wanted praise from us both.  He was still worthy of my praise. 

The other word was a stern warning to stop blaming God when he’d already forgiven me of my own sin.  These words shook me.  They were enough to make me get up, and participate in God’s healing process.  I prayed, genuinely prayed, like I hadn’t in a long time.  I was honest with my feelings. 

No matter what we face, feel, or experience, God is big enough to handle all of it!

Oh sisters, no matter what we face, feel, or experience, God is big enough to handle all of it!  I told Him exactly how I felt.  That I knew He was still God, and that I loved Him, but felt let down and disappointed by Him.  That I couldn’t shake the sadness.  That I wanted to know why He allowed this to happen.  That it was hard for me to be around my friend and watch her growing belly. 
That I needed Him.  That I knew I couldn’t get through this without Him. 

And I released…Like air seeping from a balloon I released.  I cried in the bosom of my savior. Soon, I felt an intense peace.  

God was healing my pain.  He was comforting me.  I prayed and asked God to take away this bitterness.  I cried until I could cry no more.  I got up and determined that the enemy would not steal my future by keeping me in depression, fear, and anger. 

I prayed to the Holy Spirit and asked for strength and strategy.  Every time a contrary thought entered my mind, I prayed and asked the Lord’s help to combat it.  I found scriptures to memorize to combat every lie from the enemy. 

In defiance of the enemy’s scare tactics, I would purchase a small baby item every time the enemy would whisper that I would never be a mom.  He was not going to steal my job, nor rob me of the delight of being a daughter of Christ.  There were so many times that my flesh didn’t ‘feel’ like serving the Lord, or didn’t ‘feel’ like speaking to my still pregnant friend.  But the Lord heard, and answered my genuine prayer to be released from these ‘feelings.’  And before long, I was sitting right next to my friend at her baby shower, thanking God for answering our prayers to get her through the pregnancy, and thanking God for answer  our prayers to bring healing to my hurting heart.  I overcame. 

And you will too!

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The Warrior Women Series will offer motivation and inspiration through heartfelt stories, illustrating that you can overcome challenges through the powerful combination of prayer and fasting.

Detria Moore is a believer, wife to one, mother of two, college professor, intercessor, community servant, writer, speaker, and volunteer of all things. Above all else, she is enamored with her Savior.

Her main goal is to serve the Lord, walk in a manner worthy of her calling, and bring glory to her Savior. If, along the way, she can pray with and encourage other women to grow in their own faith, or keep them encouraged to walk with Christ, then mission accomplished!

Detria is a worshipper at heart, and also enjoys weight lifting and learning new things. She is actively involved in church leadership, and supports her husband in ministry.

She writes and podcasts at detriamoore.com and she enjoys reading and teaching the Bible, praying for others, and walking the Lynchburg trails.

You can connect with Detria on Facebook , Instagram and LinkedIn.