From Darkness to Light: A Warrior's Journey of Faith, Hope, and Victory

God's Warrior Woman ~ PJ’s Story

In my early 20’s, I found myself in a very dark place. In a darkness I had never known before. A darkness I couldn’t get free from…

A deep darkness I could push back for a time and act like everything was all right, but would return even stronger. Ihad no idea how to fight against this hell. I couldn’t sleep. I was anxious all the time. My thoughts were dark and tormenting. Captive to an unseen foe, I didn’t want to fight. I wanted out, to retreat and run, far, far away.

How did I get there? I’d been raised in the church. I loved God. What happened? As a little girl I felt I had a warrior’s heart; unafraid, brave and courageous.

Growing up in the 1960s, my neighborhood was filled with starry nights, friendships, and games. With high adventures on the trampoline, I’d soar through the air seemingly without a care in the world!

But over time, like many of us, the brightness and wonder of my youth started to fade into gray, and the courage in my heart began to weaken.

My brother was the oldest, followed by my two sisters and me.

His development was slow and at the age of 12 was diagnosed with mild retardation and epilepsy.

The first memory of my brother having a seizure was when I was four. My sisters and I were rushed to the neighbor’s house after he had fallen and cracked his head open.

This would be the first of many.

Later, when my brother died at the young age of 25, I had no idea how the memory of these seizures and the family dynamics of having a special needs brother would affect me.

As a teen, I fell into rebellion.

And at the age of 17, 2 weeks after graduation, I was involved in a fatal car accident. My boyfriend at the time, unbeknownst to me, had been drinking, driving recklessly as we made our way up a windy, mountain road. Shortly after asking him to slow down, the small fiat convertible we were riding in, flipped over and skidded hard across the pavement. Coming to an abrupt halt, I found myself cocooned beneath the car. Before I knew it, the car was being lifted off of us. I was rushed to the hospital, where I later found out my boyfriend had been killed instantly.

For years I tried to push back the memories of the past of my brother, and the accident. But found myself later, as a young wife and mother, in a fierce battle for my mind.

The Unwelcome Visitor of Depression 

Though I lived on a beautiful mountain property surrounded by hiking paths, pine trees, and the smell of beautiful wildflowers, I found my walks no longer refreshed me. My heart was heavy, my spirit weighted down. The colors became gray. I didn’t notice the beauty anymore. The sadness and uncertainty of who I was enveloped me.

I tried to find ways to lift my spirit using positive affirmations, but they were just words to me. I read book after book on self-help, self-esteem, and self-love.

None of them could reach this deep, dark place in me.

Warrior, Rise Up and Face the Darkness 

After finding no solutions to my suffering, I turned to God.

God’s Word spoke of freedom, victory, and deliverance. Could God really set me free from this deep, dark place? As I began to cry out to him, the answers started coming.

My Hope 

While reading a book by Corrie ten Boom, Amazing Love: True Stories of the Power of Forgiveness, my eyes came to an abrupt halt as I read the following text:

“Jesus Christ is able to untangle all the snarls in your soul, to banish ALL your complexes, and to transform even your fixed habit patterns, no matter how deeply they are etched in your subconscious.” 

Untangle ALL the snarls in my soul? Banish ALL my complexes.

No matter how DEEPLY they were etched in my subconscious?

These words of faith endued huge breaths of courageous hope into me.

My Problem 

At another time, while praying to God on my knees, I opened my Bible to Romans 7:15-16:

“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.”

There it was. The war going on in my mind.

“This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.”

I wasn’t free, and I knew it. The power of sin enslaved me.

“Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?”

I was indeed miserable. I wanted freedom from the grip sin had on my life. “Thank God! Theanswer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…” Romans 7:25 (NLT) The ANSWER… is in Jesus Christ!

God was gloriously shining the light of His Word into the dark crevices of my soul. The answers kept coming.

My Identity 

The following verse brought forth revelation of what Christ’s death and resurrection life fully accomplished for me on the cross:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians.

2:20 (NIV)

I no longer live. Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith.

The process of living this new life and untangling my mind with God’s Word didn’t happen overnight. The unhealthypatterns didn’t want to go. Over and over my emotions would try to pull me back down to all the broken pieces of my soul.

My Faith, Walking it Out 

This new identity in Christ had to be contended for.

Though the learning process was gut-wrenching, I kept on, knowing I’d get better.  I had to train my mind, will, and emotions, how to live in a totally different way.

My emotional world had been backward. I had relied on people and things to make me happy. Being led by myfeelings caused me to be very unstable, emotionally and spiritually. But when I put God’s Word first, faith would follow, resulting in my feelings coming into alignment with the truth. This new way of thinking would soon bring the stability I so desperately needed.

God had answered my cry for help. He gave me hope, diagnosed the problem, endowed me with a new identity inhim and the faith I needed to walk it out. This was the victorious life. The life of a true warrior. A place of freedom, and the abundant life spoken of in John 10:10.

“I have come that you may have life, and life more abundantly!”

So press on my beautiful warriors, and walk in your true identity as daughters of the King!

Make sure you check back next week for another Warrior Woman!

You Are An Overcomer!

You are not alone; God created you in His image, which means you have power and authority.  He has equipped you with His strength and boldness. I would love to connect more and give you a FREE gift - The Warrior Woman Workbook: Overcoming Through the Power of Prayer and Fasting. 

Click HERE to sign up for my monthly newsletter, and you’ll receive the FREE Workbook, recent blog posts, updated resources, and personal details delivered only to my empowered email tribe.

The Warrior Women Series will offer motivation and inspiration through heartfelt stories, illustrating that you can overcome challenges through the powerful combination of prayer and fasting.

Artist, Author, and Speaker  PJ has found journaling, dance, and the arts powerful ways to connect with God and creatively reach others. She is a graduate of Theresa Dedmon’s Create Academy,

Leadership and Mentorship Programs, and helps to lead her online Dance Forum.  In December of 2022, PJ released her new book: ‘Warrior Dance: From Darkness to Glory.’ A personal testimony of God’s

redemptive love and how He reached her tangled soul, through the arts.  PJ finds herself inspired and refreshed when walking in nature, listening to worship music, studying God’s Word, and RZRing with

her husband in the desert and high mountain vistas. PJ offers: Dance and Journaling Workshops, On-line or in person.  She is the author of The Art and Soul of Journaling, (2022) Warrior Dance, (2022),

and Prophetic Art Cards (Etsy).  Her family, friends and faith are her greatest joy!

You may connect with PJ at her website, www.DesertThunderArts.com, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.